HHS Students Find Cure For Lung Disease and Cancer
Over recent months, the consumption of Act II microwave popcorn in the cafeteria has skyrocketed. During school hours, the fragrance of artificial butter flavoring fills the air. It is delicious and irresistible, securing its spot as one of the top snacks sold at the cafeteria. However, a recent Google search by a reliable HHS student has revealed that some chemicals in this mouth-watering delicacy have been linked to lung disease and cancer. After this stunning revelation had spread around the school like wildfire, the popcorn-eating community at HHS was in outrage. “This is blasphemy!”, one HHS student commented. “We must solve this problem at once!”
Thankfully, the ingenious minds at this school came up with a solution. The idea was to just find a cure to both lung disease and cancer entirely, in all their pesky forms, so that the popcorn eating experience would not be disrupted. That is exactly what they did. Rather than simply advocating for the removal of the harmful chemicals from the microwave popcorn, a group of research-adept students spent their lunch periods working to solve this conundrum. These efforts were funded by the HHS Popcorn Appreciation Club, which raised over $200,000 for the sole purpose of equipment and lab space, as well as the occasional snack and/or beverage from the cafeteria.
This discovery has obviously shocked scientists around the world. Some, who have dedicated their lives to researching cancer, are baffled and confused. Nonetheless, this group of HHS students has contributed a lot to society with this advancement. For their efforts, the Nobel Foundation has offered to give this astounding group of students recognition with a Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine. The HHS research group plans to accept this generosity, and with the award grant of almost 10,000,000 SEK (around $930,000 USD) they plan to fund future research to ensure the safety of foods such as the esteemed cafeteria froyo. Until then, they are celebrating their victory with a nice warm bag of microwave popcorn.