“Hot Tub Motion” Passes In Landslide

The so-called “Hot Tub” motion has passed in Council after only a 5-minute discussion; it’s expected to be signed by Mr. Campbell in the coming days. The motion will bring a hot tub into each of the school’s locker rooms for the purposes of relaxation and stress relief. Jack Uzzi, who put forward the motion, has said, “Like, this plan is totally rad. Students will, like, dig this.” The hot tubs will be available for use during any time after activity period each week day, including during athletic practices. Overall, the motion has met widespread approval from the staff and student body, although some teachers have voiced their concerns that students will become so relaxed that they will forget about class; meanwhile, other students have remarked that they worry whether their teachers will remember to come the class after the Jacuzzis are installed. The tubs will be purchased at Saunas R’ Us’s clearance sale.