Assassin Gets All Wet

Ahh, Spring is finally here. The birds are singing, the flowers are sprouting, and Seniors are getting shot on their way to the Co-Op. Yes, Spring has arrived, and so has Assassin, oops, I mean “Squirtfest”. For those who don’t know, Assassin is a game organized by the Senior class (the School’s Administration has nothing to do with it and distances itself away from the game). The goal of the game is to have your team win a round of tournaments by eliminating other teams with water guns for a cash prize funded the game’s entrance fee.

Senior class, water guns, cash prize. Those three things put together are sure to stir up a controversy with residents, staff, police, and more importantly, parents. Rules are established to minimize controversy, such as the school and places of employment being off limits, and more rules to prevent injury, such as no drive-by “sprayings”. To find out how this year’s game was going so far, I reached out to one of its Judges, who stated that things are going good so far. But others aren’t having as good of an experience with the game.

Only during Assassin season do I have to wear rain boots in the event that I get mistaken as a senior and squirted...again.

Only during Assassin season do I have to wear rain boots in the event that I get mistaken as a senior and squirted…again.

As early as Monday of last week, the Broadside received several reports from irate students who had become disheartened by their experience with Assassin. We’ve received reports of property damage, speeding tickets from getaways, the police being called, and I’ve even heard of lawns being littered with beer cans and half smoked joints by an opposing team staking out someone else’s lawn! Put those kinds of things on top of aggressiveness from other teams, paranoia, and (from one person’s account) sleeping in the woods for a night, it became too much for some people to deal with. And that may be assassin’s problem. It’s too much.

I’ll admit that I was looking forward to playing Assassin in my senior year, but after hearing about all of this, I doubt I will be playing, and I don’t think that I’m the only one who shares this sentiment. I believe that it’s much more fun to play Assassin type games with just friends on our own property for free whenever we want to, rather than waiting for senior year, paying money, and being paranoid every time I go off school property. But then again, I always love an opportunity to show off my Grandfather’s standard issue army umbrella.